2011/01/08(Sat) 15:51
Basically, this

You'll never enjoy your life,
Living inside the box
You're so afraid of taking chances,
How you gonna reach the top?

Constantly, I find myself being taught life lessons from the lyrics of songs, it's been a long while and this was one of them. Looking back, there was always a series of unfortunate events happening to me, controlled or uncontrolled. But as life goes on, I find my life spiralling to a downfall, carrying on burdens and suppression that are either hard to resolve or to be shared with others.

I'm living a lie myself, I rarely like who I am and try to readjust myself to the expectation of others. This eventually led to the wrong judgement of friends. Being a sentimental person, I am not the one to let go of things easily. Whoever is pulling the strings, fate is cruel because as much as I try to let go of everything that used to bind us together to, we met each other face to face at my office. A seemingly long silent stare, while nothing much of the sort really happened, it just replayed the chain of disappointment and grief that followed it. Was it a test in disguise? Or just somebody's idea of a cheap thrill?

His reactions were less than surprising, you could say it was totally expected. Anyhow, I need to regain my composure of reality and keep moving forward.

I have to carve my resolve, live life according to my own targets and expectations. Easier said than done when living in a reality dominated by what is supposed to be normality.

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